2017-02-11

My Aunt Flow is soo heavy . . .

How HEAVY is she??? 

She is so heavy…that biscuits made of Coral Reef couldn’t SOP her ass up!

She’s so heavy…she AIN’T my brother!

She so heavy…she needs a BELT the size of a Brooklyn parkway just to hold her up!

So HEAVY…Lyft couldn’t pick her up!

Even Victoria Secret told on her ass…OVA AND OVA AND OVARY AGAIN!

By FoundHer & CEO, Vanessa Siverls

Ladies…let’s use our brains as sponges and come up with ideas, instead of jokes…which I clearly need help with… that can help us “SOAK” up ALL this BLOOD!

Trust me…I have ruined more sheets than Helen of Troy…the kkk and Wilt Chamberlin ALL put together!

During my time of blood proofing angst, I would improvise with the following…which is what I thought any woman in her right STATE OF MIND would do…right? (disclaimer)

  1. Two overnight pads

  2. Followed up with adult diapers

  3. Then cuddled tight with a girdle

  4. Wrapped in a towel…NFL locker room style… (which in this case I would allow Trump to grab a hand full)

  5. Then top it off with wrapping the lower half of your body in a large clear plastic bag…so you can see if you leaked through anything

  6. You absolutely must stay in a 90-degree fetal position as to not spill over to your partner’s side…SIGH!...FIN…SIGH!

You will resemble something that looks like a frozen, used, condom…but in the end…you will wake up dry…in every sense of the word possible. I am sooo not exaggerating…ask my ex…if you can find him. REALLY!

This was my routine when I had uterine fibroids…hell this is my routine now after the ROIDS!...well maybe not as many sheets as Helen this timeBUT I am still a HEAVY BLEEDER.

If only Vampires were real, and in our pants, during our cycles…this statement can be taken many different ways…so..uh..ANYHOO..let’s just move along…shall we?…ALRIGHTY then!

Okay no more jokes…BUT…on a more serious note, LADIES we do NEED more stories from you on how you manage heavy flow or Menorrhagia as it is clinically referred to…depending on your situation.

  • There are some of us who resort to birth control pills…yet we are still in our baby making years.

 

  • Some of us opt for surgery, depending on our situation, without fully understanding the symptoms and why they exist.

     

  • Then there are too many of us (600,000/yr.) who remove our WHOLE GEM…which can put us at risk for early menopause and other complications. (depending on your age range)

Although heavy periods can make us very creative in channeling our inner MacGyver, they can also wreak havoc on our lifestyle and have a HEAVY effect on choices and decisions that we have to make for our bodies.

So, for those of us who are suffering in silence, the rest of us are here to SHARE our STORY.

If you fall into the category of REST OF US…PLEASE SHARE!

If you fall into the category of THOSE OF US…WELCOME and EXPLORE.

And if you fall into the category of ALL OF US…then just “be you. period. your body is your gem.”

Aunt Flow is soo heavy…

How HEAVY is she???

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